dutchapplepie

tuesday 2:50pm

i eat Reese's pieces , i bought a whole jar from costco. I actually had a decently light day. 7.5 hours compared to yesterdays 9. As of yesterday October 13th it began to get cold here in Oregon. I am wondering if we will have a colder fall/winter than usual. What a shame because i was just starting to start my heel collection and I cannot get those wet.

i had an emotional support meal when i got home. carne asada fries! my current food hyper-fixation. But i think that hyper-fixation might have ended today because im realizing that what i really want from the fries plate is the meat, in combo with guac & pico. ahaha and i spend $20 just to pick at it o jeez.

i also realized i mainly want to go to spirit halloween to buy thigh high stockings and wigs and face gems and possibly grey contour. ahah and a maid outfit, ive been fantasizing about cleaning in one. i need a good lingerie store, thats what i need honestly. but i guess i should go for the wigs! pink wig for sure 100%

im always busy it feels like but honestly i think im procrastinating going to the gym. and i have been for 3 months now. I was genuinely getting flustered with how dirty and cluttered my house has been. It feels like a non-stop constant project. Mostly because our apartment is tiny. hanging up some pictures, finishing a painting so i can hang it, finding a frame for my license plates, deep cleaning the storage shed, donating old books, buying new bedding. that i can do during the weekend i believe. I always worry about these things all day long. my existential anxiety is the worst at work.

I worry about what i havent done, what i need to do, finances, nutrition, relationships, the state of the world. I have gotten better since starting lexapro last april. much much better. but today i was very anxious in the morning. after first break i felt better. work is tiresome. I cannot wait until the slow season is here holy shit. i wish for straight 5s and 6s. mostly 5s. speaking of which i have until january to access my old notes from class to study. so that clock is ticking on that project .

i must walk the dog. but i want to contemplate forgiveness.

monday 7:20

bedtime. im proud to say i straightened my hair and I did my skincare :) i am slugging ! and im starting a 3 month lash serum treatment !! wahoooo! im so excited because its worked for me in the past before ;) so i just know im going to have really beautiful long lashes :') <3 and im working on repairing my skin barrier currently. mainly just doing slugging, serums while wet and slugging. two moisturizers actually. night night

monday 5:55

my dog is currently soaking in her medicated soap while i wait with her. poor baby! i am looking forward to straightening my hair and washing my face to slug after. I have been slugging for a week now and it feels really nice, I am due for an exfoliation. I need to add it to my to do list. whats on tomorrows agenda? work, organize the new storage space under the bed, maybe take those cans to the recycling center, (and i should get an oil change but who knows when ill get around to that. ) i really should go to the gym. and i need to journal so badly. i have prompts i need to work through.

now i have a dog to blow dry :) also i need to finish my nightly care <3 i am also doing a lash treatment so i have to stay faithful <3

monday 5:36pm

happily smoking in bed while listening to a spooky podcast. I have things to do supposedly, and i may get around to do them. i made dinner, i even did an important errand on the way home. I still need to bathe the dog, and do my hair. I dont have to, but i will have a better week if i do. Its the small details.

I worked a 9 hr day but overall my mood was actually good. I even looked extra cute! boss promised i could go home a teeny bit early tomorrow too because i helped& stayed late today. I am contemplating getting rid of my threads account. but i have so many good fashion accounts i follow ugh. I just need to take a break lol . i hate feeling so watched on that platform, i really love interacting with the public on there but i do feel watched. Monitoring spirits.